Goals

1. Support the topic, give reasons why


2. Examples


3. Connect to literature


4. Better word choice


5. Transitions between paragraphs


6. Order of Paragraphs







Friday, December 9, 2011

Shopping in Chicago with Patricia and Carry

Authors Note: I wrote this creative piece in class, and it is terrible, so don't judge people!!!! 


One weekend in December, Patricia was really bored because her 7 children, Bertha, Minnie, Bessie, Fred, Arthur, Edward and Henry were at their grandparents house. She normally is at home because she is a stay at home mom, so since she didn't have the kids with her she wanted to do something fun for herself. She thought that it would be really fun to take a bus to Chicago, and it makes total sense because Christmas is coming soon and she still needed to get gifts for some people. Her oldest daughter Bertha really wanted some "trendy clothes" and she knew that Chicago was the place to go!

She got in her 2001 mini van, and drove to the local park and ride where the bus was stopping for a pick up. When she got there she parked the car, and then went into the little shelter and waited for the bus to arrive. 20 minutes later the bus arrived to make the pick up and about 30 people were there to get on. Immediately Patricia was trying to figure out who she would sit by, she walked to the back of the bus where no one was sitting and then she took a seat. Everyone got seated, and the bus drove off to the next pick up. When they arrived there were only about 10 people there and one of them decided to come sit right next to Patricia. It was a 32 year old woman named Carry, she was really nice. Her and Patricia started talking on the drive, and then later became best friends!

BEEP,BEEP,BEEP, the taxi's were all honking as they entered the city. Patricia had never seen anything like this because her family lives in a small city, there is hardly anyone there, so this was a new experience. 4 hours later, the bus finally arrived at its destination, Michigan Ave. Everyone slowly got up from their seat and filed off the bus. Patricia and Carry decided that they were going to shop together. Carry wanted to go to the American Girl store, Patricia didn't even know where to start! Carry started walking towards the American Girl store and Patricia started following her along. Once they got in, they were looking around at all the amazing dolls and Patricia decided that it would be a really nice gift to get one for her youngest daughter Minnie.


To be continued….

1 comment:

  1. I really liked this piece! Omg the 2001 mini van was my idea! Haha love the name Patricia!

    ReplyDelete